My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
