you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
