And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
