maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize