I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
