I will die if light touches me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you.
Bad choice
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