how can u be prego again
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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