Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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