If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
