Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
