guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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