My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
