I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't EVER smell your tampon
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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