everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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