Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
