she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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