Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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