Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm like, not good at living.
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