I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
