I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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