He is such a slut. More and more my type.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
