I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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