I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
