He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I seem to have left my pride at pride
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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