Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
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i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!