Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
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i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?