I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do herpes really smell.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.