My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes