Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
