Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
