I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
