you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
