He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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