MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
