it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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