just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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