Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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