Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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