Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
