So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
