So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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