in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
