I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
