That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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