I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish you could order shots online.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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