Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize