We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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