She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
