Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
