I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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