When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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