Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize