I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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