accomplished twins. life is a go
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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