At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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