You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
