i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
