I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
