Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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