I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
