she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
